Posts Tagged With: Lucy

“Did You Know You Already Have One of These?”

Sniff, snort, prance, pull, flip out.

I endured this dance five times yesterday morning. Five Times.┬áI understand I’m crazy, but the things that scare ponies are eyeroll worthy.

I knew the husband’s generosity at allowing Lucy the Chicken to live indoors in our bathtub would wear off. So what if she had 3 broken bones and the Vet said she had a slim-to-none chance of making it? That was, like, months ago. Ancient History. These are the times that try men’s souls–or rather, now is the time that men tire of a chicken-poo scented bathroom.

Therefore, I considered my options.

DSCF3330Could I push Lucy out in the world cold-chicken? Naw.┬áInstead, I dragged my friend Sherin to the local Family Farm and Home, enticing her with visions of flannel-lined jeans. Together we scoured the aisles for something–anything–that I could use for Lucy.

“Do you have a chicken house suitable for a little lame bantam?” I asked my friend Nellie. “Maybe a house and chicken yard attached?”

“Sure, got one right here.” Quick as a monkey, she scurried up the crossbeams and onto the tippy top of the chicken aisle. As I mentally quaked for her safety, she yelled for another associate to help her yank the monstrosity off the highest shelf. Not only did they have to dissassemble it, they still couldn’t fit most of it into my car.

“Get more horsepower,” my friend Art grunted.

“Talk to my husband,” I said. “I’ve been trying for years. At least I got a horse farm.”

“Ok, well, I’ll deliver it to you myself. I’ll be drivin’ a red truck. Don’t shoot me when I come over.”

I promised him I wouldn’t, and he graciously offered to bring it himself.

Once Art arrived, he unloaded the Chicken McMansion.

DSCF3333“Did you know you already have one of these?” He asked, pointing to Lucy’s prior dwelling.

I nodded. He shook his head, commencing construction.

Quick as a duck landing on a pond, Art put the Chicken Mc Mansion on the market for a new owner. Once I explained that Lucy currently lived in the bathtub up at my house, the poor man raised his eyebrows, shook his head yet again, and left.

(I think he wanted to run from the crazy animal lady before the insanity rubbed off.)

Lucy instantly took to her new digs, laying an egg within an hour of entering her new home. She’s completely at ease in the Chicken McMansion and attached yard.

If only the horses could relax in the same way. Every time they walk past, it’s “new.” Sniff, snort, prance, pull, flip out. It never gets old. They have to pass the McMansion to go into the RAMM Fence pasture, and every time it’s an adventure.

However, if the horses relaxed the same way Lucy did, I’d make millions. Who wouldn’t love to know a horse who lays eggs?

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Wistful Thinking

The winds of change sweep through the farm.

Chickens have disappeared. Swiftie and Buster are MIA. As of this morning, so is Lucy.

Luckily, Gladiator, the rooster; our two guineas, and Nugget, the Americana, are alive and well.

We own six new(ish) chicks; three Barred Rocks and three Australorps.

If Melody hadn’t miscarried, last year, we’d have 11 horses at Firefly Farm.

Sage left a while ago. Her owner found a wonderful home with young children to ride the lovely Standardbred mare and give her all the attention she deserves.

Lexi is now at Silver Fox Stable, owned by a Vet, Dr. Esterline’s, wife. I hear wonderful things about their facility and wish them all the best.

Lexi left on Sunday.

We’re down to 10 horses.

We’d have 11 if Melody hadn’t miscarried last year.

Yet..

This morning I recieved a phone call from my friend Sandy. She’s looking to have me train her horse, Cappy.

We’re down to 10 horses.

I wish, oh, how I wish Melody’s foal were here. I’d be training her or him and working her or him every spare moment.

I can handle training a new horse. It’s what I wish I were doing at this very moment.

Training–oh, training!

I love to train. I love the young ‘uns. I adore teaching them how to behave, how to respect others, and how to be a proper citizen.

I love the way they’re defiant at first, and then calm, then ask “What would you like, Ma’am?”

Then, when I tell them what to do, they give me a great, big, “Yes, Ma’am!”

Spring sweeps over our farm.

Cappy’s adventure begins sometime next week.

I hope Lucy comes home.

I can’t wait until Honey is bred.

Last year’s worries tumble and flow away with the wind. The future is bright.

But oh, how I miss the foal that should have been mine this spring.

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April Fools

Lucy’s coppery feathers caressed the egg. She settled herself further, spreading her wings and wiggling her rump.

Confused, I examined her from each angle.

The creamy egg, nestled safely under her tummy, seemed to have green spots. Green. Spots! I lifted Lucy from her nest and realized someone truly played a joke on me. The egg, a plastic run-of-the-mill Easter Egg, contained a seam all the way around the edge.

I laughed until my sides hurt.

The joke didn’t end there, however.

Lucy, the proud momma, stopped laying eggs. She insisted that this egg would hatch, and that she needed no other until her precious baby appeared.

Lucy hasn’t laid an egg since.

April Fools, Lucy.

Afternote: Lucy started re-laying eggs today–April 7th. The joke was played by Zeus’ owner’s husband. I think it’s hilarious–not only did he play a joke on me, he played a joke on my chicken, too!DSCF3330

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Horsinalities

Her blonde mane blows as she flicks her flaxen tail.

His head, neck, and shoulders shake; his mane flops from side to side.

Her hooves plod forward, thumping the frozen earth.

It’s time, once again, to play “Personify that Pony!”

Melody is a cheerleader. She thrives on attention and needs to have a posse around her at all times. She loses all confidence when she’s alone. She’s most like Kitty from Glee.

Twist is Kramer from Seinfeld. He’s a joker; a ham; a goofball. Twist has a large spot over his ears extending across his brown left eye. His right side is white and has a blue eye. He’s shaggy and cares little for appearances.

Honey’s shy and bookish. Whenever someone challenges her, she puts her ears back and runs away. If I’m around, she’ll nudge me as if to say, “Mom! The other kids are picking on me!”

Misty likes order and efficient use of time. If I’m fussing with something in the barn and she doesn’t have hay in her stall, she’ll stomp her foot and swish her tail in agitation. She’s Military through and through. I can picture her leading troops into battle, and if she were injured, she’d say, “It’s just a scratch. Carry on.”

Lexi is a supermodel. She likes to show everyone how she feels, and toss her mane if she doesn’t get what she wants. She loves to run and enjoys being with her friends. She does “lunch” all the time, and wants to say hello to everyone. She’s Heidi Klum–gorgeous, outgoing, and loyal. She has a British accent and bats her eyelashes at Dusty. “Darling, if you want me so badly, you simply must put a ring on it.”

Dusty is Sean Connery. He’s charming, well mannered, handsome, and teaches the other boys who’s boss. He knows how to treat a lady and loves them all. He’s gentle and kind, swift to understand a situation, and fights only when he can win. “You wanna get Capone? Here’s how you get him. He pulls a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. That’s the Chicago way. And that’s how you get Capone!” -Sean Connery’s character, The Untouchables

Phoenix is Honoria from the BBC television series Jeeves and Wooster. She loves boys, but they are more than a little overwhelmed by her. She is frequently seen trying to talk one of the geldings into adoring her. She has undying love for Sidney but scares him to death.

Sidney is like a surfer-dude John Wayne. “Talk low, talk slow, and don’t talk too much. Cowabunga, peace out.” He loves to be with you, but he’s stoic. Some days he shows, like, major affection, but other times he’s bashful, pilgrim. Some days he’ll give you a hat tip, other days he wants to smother you with his love, dude.

Sage is the sweetest elderly grandmother you can imagine. She bakes cookies for everyone and gives you a hug if you have a bad day. She watches the others play as if to say, “What dear children. They grow up so fast.”

Braveheart is Dennis the Menace. He’s good hearted but always in the thick of things when there’s trouble to be found. He enjoys sneaking hay at feeding times and loves to use people as kleenexes. He’s so adorable you can’t help but love him. He and Sage sometimes nuzzle over the fence. You can almost hear him say, “Gramma, when’ll the cookies be done?”

Suzie Q is Lucy from Peanuts. She loves to tease; loves to have everything her own way, and is flippant about why. “These five fingers, individually, are nothing. But when I put them together to form a single unit…” She knows how to throw her (albeit small) weight around.

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