Horsinalities

Her blonde mane blows as she flicks her flaxen tail.

His head, neck, and shoulders shake; his mane flops from side to side.

Her hooves plod forward, thumping the frozen earth.

It’s time, once again, to play “Personify that Pony!”

Melody is a cheerleader. She thrives on attention and needs to have a posse around her at all times. She loses all confidence when she’s alone. She’s most like Kitty from Glee.

Twist is Kramer from Seinfeld. He’s a joker; a ham; a goofball. Twist has a large spot over his ears extending across his brown left eye. His right side is white and has a blue eye. He’s shaggy and cares little for appearances.

Honey’s shy and bookish. Whenever someone challenges her, she puts her ears back and runs away. If I’m around, she’ll nudge me as if to say, “Mom! The other kids are picking on me!”

Misty likes order and efficient use of time. If I’m fussing with something in the barn and she doesn’t have hay in her stall, she’ll stomp her foot and swish her tail in agitation. She’s Military through and through. I can picture her leading troops into battle, and if she were injured, she’d say, “It’s just a scratch. Carry on.”

Lexi is a supermodel. She likes to show everyone how she feels, and toss her mane if she doesn’t get what she wants. She loves to run and enjoys being with her friends. She does “lunch” all the time, and wants to say hello to everyone. She’s Heidi Klum–gorgeous, outgoing, and loyal. She has a British accent and bats her eyelashes at Dusty. “Darling, if you want me so badly, you simply must put a ring on it.”

Dusty is Sean Connery. He’s charming, well mannered, handsome, and teaches the other boys who’s boss. He knows how to treat a lady and loves them all. He’s gentle and kind, swift to understand a situation, and fights only when he can win. “You wanna get Capone? Here’s how you get him. He pulls a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. That’s the Chicago way. And that’s how you get Capone!” -Sean Connery’s character, The Untouchables

Phoenix is Honoria from the BBC television series Jeeves and Wooster. She loves boys, but they are more than a little overwhelmed by her. She is frequently seen trying to talk one of the geldings into adoring her. She has undying love for Sidney but scares him to death.

Sidney is like a surfer-dude John Wayne. “Talk low, talk slow, and don’t talk too much. Cowabunga, peace out.” He loves to be with you, but he’s stoic. Some days he shows, like, major affection, but other times he’s bashful, pilgrim. Some days he’ll give you a hat tip, other days he wants to smother you with his love, dude.

Sage is the sweetest elderly grandmother you can imagine. She bakes cookies for everyone and gives you a hug if you have a bad day. She watches the others play as if to say, “What dear children. They grow up so fast.”

Braveheart is Dennis the Menace. He’s good hearted but always in the thick of things when there’s trouble to be found. He enjoys sneaking hay at feeding times and loves to use people as kleenexes. He’s so adorable you can’t help but love him. He and Sage sometimes nuzzle over the fence. You can almost hear him say, “Gramma, when’ll the cookies be done?”

Suzie Q is Lucy from Peanuts. She loves to tease; loves to have everything her own way, and is flippant about why. “These five fingers, individually, are nothing. But when I put them together to form a single unit…” She knows how to throw her (albeit small) weight around.

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